Star Wars Episode IV: A New Haiku
by The Drunken Wookiee
Summary: Star Wars retold as a series of haikus.


**Star Wars Episode IV: A New Haiku **

Soft smiles, tearful eyes, 

reminiscing sweet goodbyes, 

inside Padme's sighs... 

Icicle blue eyes 

stare wandering into skies, 

heeding uncle's lies. 

Rocks fall, rocks tumble 

R2-D2 halts trundle, 

turns, whines, "Oo Tee hee!" 

Rapid destiny 

pulls Luke to Master Jedi 

Ben Kenobi's lies. 

More bitter than time, 

beautiful Princess Leia, 

pleading for her life. 

"Huh?" Skywalker asks, 

"I said the force," Ben replies. 

"I can't go with you..." 

Desert wasteland dive, 

jazz jumbling bouncing jive - 

"We don't serve their kind!" 

"He doesn't like you!" 

Luke slides, skittering, stumbles. 

Ben knows what to do. 

"Fastest ship." "We don't..." 

"Should I have?" "You bet I could!" 

"Well that's the real trick..." 

Hunter purses lips. 

"I've been waiting a long time..." 

"Yes, I'll bet you have." 

Green Greedo shoots first, 

Han ducks back, dodges lasers. 

Han shoots first. 

Hutt Jabba talks to 

Han steps on his tail - "Bouncy! 

Hutt eyes open WIDE!" 

"What a piece of junk!" 

"Better than yours, ya punk kid!" 

Han wanted to say. 

Droids win board games, 

Chewie rumbles angrily. 

"Let the wookiee win." 

"What's that?" "Don't touch that!" 

"What's that flashing?" slapping hand. 

"Skip to Alderaan?" 

She won't break with pain. 

She's the calm before the storm. 

Vader in her brain. 

"Name the system." "No!" 

"Blown to bits - by the empire!" 

"Chewie, hit reverse!" 

An unseen tow truck 

plucks the Falcon out of space 

while occupants hide. 

Troopers search ship, find 

blaster bolts and wookiee eyes. 

New troopers walk out. 

TK-421 

the imposter stormtrooper 

lets the wookiee in. 

Han shoots, Chewie roars, 

Skywalker with the whining, 

Ben says, "Use the force." 

Old fossil walking 

sneaks swiftly through the Death Star 

to free the Falcon. 

R2 says, "I've found her!" 

"We should rescue her, she's rich!" 

Chewie considers. 

Into the drunk pen, 

"Where are you taking this thing?" 

Exlposions ensue. 

"Aren't you a bit short?" 

"Huh? I'm here to rescue you!" 

"This is some rescue!" 

Jedi sneak Master's 

pupil approaches, sidling, 

draws his red saber. 

"Now I'm the master!" 

Slip spin crash, crackling sabers. 

Friendship departed. 

Pause, sabers cross paths, 

"A master of evil, Darth!" 

The sorcerers clash. 

Into, out of trash 

compactor makes mashed heroes 

get a lot thinner. 

Death Star chase troopers 

shoot, miss, miss and shoot at Han, 

Luke takes a wrong turn. 

Gentle kiss on cheek. 

Luke's in love with his sister - 

Jedi incesting. 

Final quick escape. 

"Didn't we leave this party?" 

Party never ends. 

Blue blurs, flashing red, 

crackling sabers mystify. 

Obi steps aside. 

The mystic master's 

robes fall gently, body, soul 

ascend, disappear. 

Luke shoots, drops troopers, 

aided by the dark side's call - 

etheric warning. 

TIE ships drop like flies, 

the Falcon escapes demise, 

but is it a trick? 

R2's got the tip. 

Rebels discover weakness, 

crack Tarkin's fortress. 

Pilots to their ships. 

Death Star looms on horizon. 

Solo says farewell. 

Chewbacca knows well 

the future depends on them, 

and reprimands Han. 

"The Death Star trench run 

is easier than shooting 

some womprats back home!" 

X-wings, TIE's, racing, 

lasers light up space's sky, 

Vader turns the tide. 

Undercurrents ride 

Skywalker to the vent hole, 

Vader on his hide. 

"Stretch out your feelings," 

Ben whispers into his ear, 

returning specter. 

Han drops out of space, 

takes a bite from Vader's TIE, 

joking, saves Luke's life. 

Ben calls, "Use the force!" 

Luke closes his eyes to it, 

drops one down the hole. 

Tarkin daftly dies, 

too proud to save his own life 

from his own glory. 

Fire rings radiate 

or sometimes just a sparkle, 

more or less x-wings. 

Rebels hoist up Luke, 

praise their new Jedi hero 

upon safe return. 

Han gets hugged and kissed, 

Chewbacca gets no credit - 

rejoices for friends. 

Medals and awards, 

triumphant music fanfare, 

fade on happy smiles.


End file.
